My Own Rules to Living w the Avengers
by avengergeek1
Summary: My own version of rules to living with the Avengers. Enjoy! XD
1. Chapter 1

** DISCLAIMER: I do not own the original idea of this! I got it from another fan fiction and was inspired to do the same with my own rules!**

**Also! I do not own the Avengers (Sadly) just my OC Alexandra McCarthy.  
**

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**My Own Rules for Living with the Avengers**

#1: Do NOT burn yourself when Loki is around.

I did once and my index finger is still a little blue.

#2: Don't try and hide Clint's arrows or bow.

He always has more arrows so it's really just a waste of time. But the bow... *evil smile*

#3: Don't leave Thor alone with the toaster when he's making Pop tarts.

One time, he got so mad that they wouldn't pop fast enough that he smashed it into pieces then threw it out the window.

#4: The following songs are forbidden to play or sing:

"Criminal" by Britney Spears

Do I need to explain?

"Hero" by Enrique Iglesias

It's such a good song but everyone gets the wrong idea when I start to sing it.

"Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

I was singing that the day I met Steve. He blushed so red I thought he would pass out.

#5: Loki is not allowed to drive you to school!

Especially if he's wearing his helmet. I was so humiliated.

#6: JARVIS is not allowed to use for help on homework.

I did once and got an A. My teacher thought I was cheating because I'm not really that good of a student.

#7: Bruce does not find it funny when you sneak up on him.

I made that mistake… My hearing is still a little messed up.

#8: Steve doesn't want help when trying to work a blender.

*Sigh* He needs it, though.

#9: Whatever he says to deny is, Tony is a get it down FREAK!

I had just sat down from getting back from training and he instantly had me do my homework. I mean, he pulled it out of my backpack himself and got it ready for me. He even put the pencil in my hand.

#10: Loki cannot make ice cubes with his bare hands.

My iced tea needed more ice and I didn't feel like getting it myself because Loki was right there. Annoyed the heck out of him when I kept bothering him for some ice. He finally got up and got me ice from the freezer.

#11: It's not a smart idea to taunt Loki about how the Avengers kicked his butt.

I have several times. None of those times ended nicely. That's when he drove me to school wearing his helmet, laughing like a lunatic.

#12: I have been panned from all prank wars forever.

I get a little over competitive and reckless. Also, I don't want to crush everyone's dreams with my awesomeness.

#13: Steve's personal gym is not meant to be used to hide your Stuff-I-Shouldn't-Have stash.

I hid mine under the boxing ring once. Little did I know Steve also uses that for his storage area. He found my stash and gave my fairly stolen items back to their original owners.

#14: Thor doesn't like it when you mock his accent.

Me: Where art though, food?

Thor: Why are you mocking me?

Me: I do not know. I was quite bored and so I must entertain myself. I am very young and foolish, you know?

Thor: You're mockery is not amusing.

Me: I find it the most fun. Loki would find my mockery flattering.

He stormed out after that.

#15: Laughing at people's misery is not going to help you in life.

I once laughed at Clint because he somehow whacked himself in the face with an arrow. He then whacked _me _in the face with the same arrow.

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**That's all for now, folks! I hope you enjoyed them. This is my first fan fic so go easy with the reviews if you decide to. Also, pointers and ideas would be nice.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm baaaack! Thanks for the favorites guys! Makes a new comer feel welcomed. Sorry it took so long to post this. I forgot how to add a new chapter...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers. If I did though, Hawkeye would have had his own movie!**

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**My Own Rules to Living w/ the Avengers**

#16: Dance Offs have been forever banned.

Thor, oddly, wins every single time.

#17: Also, Sing Offs are also forever banned.

They always end in a never ending musical of Tony and Clint. Shocking, I know.

#18: Dress shopping with Natasha is NEVER a good idea.

I did once. *Sigh* I had more eyes on me than I could count. I DID NOT like the attention.

#19: Don't leave your personal notebooks out in the open where Thor or I can find them.

I found Natasha's once. I then held all the secrets of SHIELD's most successful assassin in my hand so I hid the notebook. Natasha stole it back though. Then Thor found Tony's. We were both scared for life after reading it.

#20: Loki's helmet is not to be worn at school Christmas plays.

I was Rudolph for mine and I wore Loki's helmet for my home-made antlers. Let's just say Loki crashed the play...

#21: Movies that are banned.

-What's Your Number?

Steve just doesn't like it because of the character that looks like him that's in it.

-Cabin in the Woods

Besides the fact that there's a character in it that looks like Thor, I just don't like scary movies and can't sleep for weeks on end.

-War Horse

Steve doesn't like the "War" part and Loki feels angered against the character that looks like him is a good guy.

-Jaws series

It's the only "scary" movie I watch and everyone gets tried of it after the 5th horror movie marathon in a row.

#22: I am horrified by the paranormal. Do not find a way to use this against me or you WILL suffer the consequences.

Tony, Loki, Clint, and Thor teamed up after hearing about my fear for ghosts. They made noises when I tried to sleep and had JARVIS mess with my radio when I turned it on. It only got worse when I ran out of my room crying and screaming. I ran into the nearest person's room, which happened to be Thor's, and when he wasn't there, I flipped out. It made them all, even Loki, feel guilty. After the apologized and promised they would stop, I locked them all in their bedrooms. It was a while before Pepper let them out.

#23: Blackmail in the Avengers Tower is not illegal.

#24: DO NOT unplug the toaster at night to save electricity.

Everyone had a fun time watching me to try an figure out why my toast wasn't toasting. It was early in the morning and I'm not very observative. Cut me some slack.

#25: If you want the last of the milk, make sure there's another gallon or else.

Clint, Natasha, and I are very big milk junkies. Someone finished the gallon and there was none left the next day for us. Nobody had a good day that day. It didn't help that we had a mission, too.

#26: Don't let my owl out of its cage without my presence.

(Yes I have an owl) Thor opened the cage one day, thinking he was trapped. Ruffles, that's my owl, attacked him. Thor was already scratched and scared before I returned.

"Good little owl." Loki had said. I couldn't say anything I was laughing soooo much.

#27: Also adding to Rule #4 (Songs that are banned) anything Justin Bieber is banned.

I secretly like his music and hum the songs, thinking that no one can actually tell what song it is. That only works with the out of time people (Thor, Steve). Everyone else can tell quite easily. Tony freaked out one day when I hummed the chorus to "One Time". Same thing happened with Natasha and Clint.

#28: Asking Tony how many women he's "dated" is not a very bright idea.

(He doesn't even know.)

#29: Asking Thor to go to Asgard with him is okay.

As long as Loki doesn't find out.

#30: Don't let anyone but me make dinner.

I'm the only good cook in the house. Clint attempts to help but he just gets in the way. And I think his presence spoils the food.

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**There's another 15! Again, sorry it took a while. It also took me a while to think up rules. If you have an idea for a rule of your own, just tell me and I might put it up (giving you the credit of course!). Also, I wasn't lying on rule #16. Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye) actually has an amazing singing voice. So does Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man).**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks you reviewers, favoriters and alert adders! It means a lot that people are liking it so much! Sorry it took so long to update! I've been so busy with school starting and all.**

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**My Own Rules to Living with the Avengers**

#31: When playing Mario Kart with the others, never pick Yoshi. (greenprodigy)

Bruce will get you and smash you.

#32: Don't play the following bands around Steve:

1: Linkin Park

2: Avenged Sevenfold

#3: Black Sabbath

He really doesn't like them. He doesn't like any hard rock, screaming bands. Those are his least favorite though. He doesn't like Black Sabbath because they made the Iron Man song.

Steve:"Great. All Tony needs is another ego boost."

#33: Explaining a lava lamp to Loki and Thor is messy and a waste of your time.

Loki:"Why are there globs of goo in a lamp?"

Me:"I'm not sure. For design I guess..."

Thor:"They are not living are they? WE MUST FREE THEM!" Thor then slammed his hammer down on my lave lamp. It then took three hours for me to convince the two Asgardians they weren't living creatures. They then had to buy me a new and better one with their own money.

#34: If you're a girl in the Avengers, you're not allowed to be a Loki fangirl.

I am and proud of it but then it started to get... out of hand. I had one two many thousand posters of him and Fury had me detained. Worst vacation EVER!

#35: Natasha's room is off limits 24/7.

#36: Twilight movie marathons have been banned for forever and longer.

Everyone gets in a HUGE "Team Jacob vs Team Edward" argument. Only Natasha and I aren't part of the discussion...

#37: When you're having trouble with boys (or girls), **never** ask Tony, Steve or Natasha for advice!

Me:"Tony, how do you expect a girl to ask you out?"

Tony:"I'm Tony Stark. Women can't speak in my presence."

Me:"Steve, how do you expect a girl to ask you out?"

Steve:"Uh... Umm... Uh, n-never happened to me..."

Me:"Natasha, how do you build up the courage to ask out someone?"

Natasha:"I don't have time for a relationship so I don't need to build my courage up to ask anybody." Clint was in the room at the time and you could sense his heart and hopes being crushed.

#38: When you're having boy (or girl) trouble, Clint is always there to help.

#39: Ruffles, my owl, is not to be treated like a parrot!

Tony:"Wanna cracker?"

Thor:"Why do you not speak!?"

Me:"She's an owl! Get out of my room!"

#40: When I'm reading a book, it's smart not to disturb me.

Guess who made that mistake? If you guessed Loki, you're wrong. If you guessed Thor, you're 100% correct! Tony didn't go near me for a week because he thought I was possessed or something because I was so snappy and moody.

#41: No one is allowed to meet your boy(or girl)friends.

Thor:"What makes him worthy to hold your hand?"

Natasha:"I don't trust him. We should detain him just in case."

Clint:"I'm proud you were brave to ask a guy out but _him?" _He asked that twice...

Loki:"STEP AWAY FROM MY DEAR ALEXANDRA! YOU DO NOT DESERVE HER LOVE OR HER ATTENTION!" That happened every time. Which was about six times through out Middle and High school.

#42: If you don't like the band Superchic[k], you're not a very good Avenger.

Steve, Thor, Clint, Natasha, and Bruce listen to them constantly. Tony doesn't not like them so he has a pass. I go around singing "Hey, Hey" every chance I get. Loki doesn't like them but he's not an Avenger. I have JARVIS play them in whatever room he's in though.

#43: When Loki is in ice form, DO NOT TOUCH HIM!

#44: When or if you go to Asgard, try to remember Odin in Thor and Loki's (sorta) father.

Me: "Hey, look! It's the Asgardian Nick Fury!" or "I thought he was a viking, not a pirate?"

#45: You must be prepared to watch the new episodes of Psych every week.

I will drag you to the TV area (At commercial, of course)

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**Another 15! Booya! Again, sorry it took so long. School really stinks. Oh! And props for Superchic[k] fans!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow... Ummm... I think apologies are in order. It's been like... what, over three months? I AM SO SORRY! My computer had crashed and I was busy with other drama that is life so... Yeah. Please forgive me?**

**Obvious disclaimers: I own nothing but my oc, Alexandra McCarthy**

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**My Own Rules to Living with the Avengers**

#46: Saying, "Loki made me do it" do not work with anyone.

Tony: "Why would you spray paint my new suit pink?"

Me: "Loki made me do it!"

#47: Just to let you all know, it is 100% true that no one but Thor can life his hammer.

I pulled a muscle trying

#48: Clint is secretly VERY, VERY ticklish.

I found out one day with a brushed his neck with a feather from an arrow. I've never heard such a manly guy giggle so girly...

#49: Do not let Natasha know Rule #48.

#50: Tony is no longer allowed to let you fly in his suits.

Dangit! v.v

#51: JARVIS doesn't like it when you screw up his voice setting to make him sound like a southern girl.

Hehehehe... It was funny, though.

#52: Bruce is not a very good therapist.

Trust me, I know. He was no help in fixing my screwed up brain.

#53: Trying to steal Fury's eye patch is a big no no.

He's a party killer...

#54: Thor is a natural blonde. Do not accuse him of anything else.

He nearly made a new window with my body...

#55: Loki has natural black hair. Do not accuse him of anything else.

I was turned into a popsicle...

#56: NO Stan Lee jokes.

#57: Steve doesn't like jokes about his intact virginity.

Steve just stood there and blushed and blushed and blushed and blushed... Tony would NOT lay off him.

#58: "I'm in Loki's Army" T-Shirts have been banned.

Fury took it literally...

#59: No, Scar from the Lion King is NOT Loki as a lion.

#60: Thor, Clint and Steve are not allowed to watch Bambi.

They go through too many tissues when his mother is killed.

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**Again, I am so sorry for the delay! I'll be honest when I say I probably wouldn't have updated anytime soon if Mister taco hadn't asked me to as nicely as he did. And yes, Mister taco, Twilight and Justin Bieber suck. I only like JB's music and any love story is better than Twilight.**


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